Life is Good: Red Wine, Dark Chocolate, and Black Metal

Sorry for the slow blogging lately. I've been busy with school, extra curriculars, and my new internship. I do have a few updates for you, some good and some less-than-good.

On the diet front, I've been doing my usual lunch/dinner combo (big ass salads, with a sweet potato or two). I bought a bottle of sriracha and my mouth has been burning for 5 days straight. That stuff is simultaneous addicting and brutally painful. My mouth isn't sending the proper signals to my brain, because every goddamn day I hurt myself on that stuff haha.

My breakfasts were pretty boring this week. I was really kicking ass with my intense veggie intake (per the Wahls diet) for about two weeks there, and I kept it up while I was at home. But I had a bit of a SNAFU getting back to campus Sunday night, so I didn't have time to stock up hardcore. After tackling kale, mustard greens, swiss chard, and red cabbage, plus the 3-4 cups of mixed greens I get already, I needed to switch up my greenage in order to avoid kidney stones. (Supposedly Science: different leafy greens have varying amounts of oxalate acid, which can cause kidney stones. With the increased intake of these veggies, Dr. Wahls suggests rotating.) So I bought a bunch of organic spinach and a small head of radicchio lettuce. I love spinach, but no one told me that the latter was bitter as all hell when eaten raw. So I basically had to eat microwave cooked (ie: warm) lettuce for breakfast.

For protein, I got some cheap steaks and Omega-3 eggs. My endochronologist made a fuss last month about me not eating dairy, the reasons being partially paleo, partially me liking the taste of water. So I snagged a small carton of Swiss Goat Milk to get some extra protein and calcium. Its not that I don't like regular milk, but sometimes it gives me gas, and I'm not too fond of perpetuating both the neolithic cattle culture and the government-business promotion of dairy as an essential food group. [steps off soap box]

On the exercise side of things, my aunt's recently set goal of running a 5k in April inspired me to get my act together. I've never liked "cardio", even though I owe about 50% of my weight loss to the Insanity program back in summer 2010. Nowadays, when I have the time and energy, I prefer to lift some weights or do some yoga in my room. I have flirted with the idea of running a 5k in the past, but I never really committed to training.

That's about to change.

I've decided to add two days of running and racquetball to my regimen leading up to the Relay for Life in late April. I have/had no idea how hard it was going to be, what a good time would be, or how to train. My good friend Jake is a running machine (in Army ROTC), and he has agreed to take me under his wing to whip me into peak running shape.

I ran my first timed mile in seven years on Thursday. Throughout elementary school and junior high gym class, I never ran a sub-12 minute mile. Yesterday, on my first attempt, with no formal conditioning whatsoever besides moderate daily exercise and 100+ lbs off my bones, I ran a mile in 7:55. I could barely believe it, and I almost died in the process. 8 minutes was always my standard for "I could never run a mile that fast." And I did it on my first shot. I still don't know what my goals are, and there's no way I could run 3.1 miles straight at that pace. But at least the bar has been set.

In health news (the kinda-not-good part), I got my long-awaited blood work back today. [Science ahead] Back in August, I was tested for thyroid: my TSH and free T4 were normal, but my free T3 was low (hypothroid). Last week's results show that now both free T4 and free T3 are low, so my doctor suspects pituitary issues. This was reinforced by low testosterone (was below range, not at the very bottom of the range), low free T, and low luteinizing hormone (helps produce testosterone). These results ALSO point to hypopituitary problems. As I said before, I think a 7 year old head injury is to blame.

So, I'm going to get a TRH test, the definitive test to see if my pituitary/thyroid system is working improperly. Also getting an MRI to check for "growths" (read as: TUMORS!!!) Just messing, I'm not too worried.

So after getting this seemingly bad news, I've been extremely chipper today. I'm having a nice quiet (read as: lame) night, reading Frank Herbert, drinking cheap red wine, eating dark Baker's chocolate, and listening to Ihsahn. Love that sax.

Life is good.

Sunday Brunch

Whenever I'm home, my grandma likes to cook a meal with me. I knew she liked salmon, so I proposed oven-baked salmon with veggies, and two side recipes from some of my favorite paleo/primal sites: avocado deviled eggs and vegetable latkes.

As usual, I freestyled a bit on each recipe. I skipped the crab meat on the eggs, and just threw together yolks, avocado, nutmeg, paprika, mustard, and pickle juice. The avocado wasn't as

soft as I would have liked, but what can you do? (It turns out, putting it in a bag with an apple over night will ripen it. I had a bag and an apple literally 2 feet away from the avocado all night long. Damn) For the latkes, we shredded some zucchini and yellow squash, mixed in a few eggs, and fried in olive oil. After the first 4, I found it too hard so I turned the rest into a hash. It was still delicious.

The salmon was wrapped up in foil with olive oil, tomato, and squash/zucchini. I would have preferred wild caught, but Kroger doesn't have that fresh. The farm raised definitely tastes different, and the skin especially is not very good. But it didn't ruin the meal.

I love being home.

Saturday at Home

A quick post: I came home for the weekend and that means I had a KITCHEN! I started off with a green smoothie of coconut milk, kale, avocado, and 2% Greek yogurt. I sprinkled some cocoa and cinnamon on top. Very delicious, and a great way to get my greens out of the way.

For lunch, I warmed up some of my lamb head stew that I had in the freezer, and poured it over the remaining kale stems.

Earlier in the morning, I threw together some tomatoes, short ribs, and italian spices in a crock pot to recreate a recipe from Primal Palate. By dinner, the meat was falling off the bone. The broth was so oily (in a very good way!), and the tomatoes were so soft, the meat so tender.....

.I had 3 or 4 bowls, it was so good. Definitely one of my best creations. Thanks to Bill & Hayley for the recipe! I had a huge amount of asparagus on the side.

I also spent the day making various broths, which I'll post about tomorrow. Tonight, I'll be hitting the club soda, lime juice, and GIN. As close to primal as you can get with alcohol.

Microwave Liver Frittata & Veggies

I've been trying to replace my usual whey protein shake breakfast with real, whole food. I've been moving away from whey on the whole just to cut down on dairy and because I don't know what other kinds of chemicals, additives, etc they're throwing in there. Whey is a great supplement when you're short on time or can't access real food, but I'd rather keep the unknown nasty stuff out of my body.

So I decided to pick up what some people would consider "nasty": chicken livers. A pound for $1.50 at Kroger. It fulfills my protein needs and meets the weekly offal suggestion under the Wahls Diet. Yesterday, I just microwaved a few...and suddenly remembered that I don't like chicken livers unless they're covered in other flavors. So this morning I covered them in cajun spices, chopped up a little thyme, and "Cameron DeHarted" them. That is, I cracked two eggs (omega-3s) on top. (That phrase is a remnant of my less-than-talented cooking days, in which my primary method of adding pizzazz to a meal was to just crack an egg over it.) It was surprisingly tolerable.

I finished off most of my remaining veggies: broccoli stalk, cauliflower, asparagus, collard greens, mushrooms, cabbage. I've had the same thing each morning since Saturday, so I'm looking forward to next weeks rotation of veggies. Not sure what I'm going to pick up yet, so if you have any suggestions, leave them in the comment section or on facebook!

I'm going home this weekend, so I'll be doing lots of cooking. Look out for a few rapid posts on Saturday and Sunday.

Cheers!

Lazy Saturday

I knew today was going to be a good day. I just had this gut feeling. I got about 8 hours of sleep before being woken up by a text message. I was refreshed and ready to start the day. Friday was pretty damn good (got an internship!), and for some reason, I've been in a really good mood the past few days. I had my first of many Wahls breakfasts. For a drink, I ground up a little flax seed (ALA omega 3 fatty acids, phytoestrogens, and fiber) and bee pollen (flavonoids, B vitamins, and anti-allergenic stuff), plus some cinnamon (tastes good, controls blood sugar.)

I found out you can cook steak in the microwave, which is going to be valuable knowledge throughout the next 5 months of dorm life. I cut off the visible fat of my little steak and nuked it for 2 minutes. I then poured off the melted fat and nuked it for a few more minutes (it was pretty thin, so it didn't take long to cook through.) I also nuked two Omega 3-enhanced eggs, and plated that with cooked broccoli, cauliflower, and asparagus, and raw radishes, zucchini, red cabbage, and a giant leaf of collard greens. I drizzled a little olive oil and N'Orleans Cajun seasoning (just dehydrated garlic, salt, paprika, onion, and red pepper) on top of everything, some lemon juice on the cruciferous and leafy greens. It was all very delicious, and I was absolutely stuffed. My jaw was actually a little sore from all the chewing, but I felt satisfied and energetic for my 1pm racquetball session with my good friend, Mr. Jake Young. The drink I mentioned earlier was pretty bland, but considering my go-to beverage is water, I didn't mind. Anything for health, right?

Since I had a late breakfast and exercise at lunch time, I didn't get to eat much before dinner. I had a post-workout snack of 1/2 of an 87% dark chocolate bar (my vice) and a cup of lactose-reduced Greek Yogurt with a little flax seed and cinnamon, along with a hot cup of white tea.

Dinner was my Ohio Union staple; what Mark Sisson has so eloquently labeled "Big Ass Salad". ~2 cups of mixed greens, green pepper, red and green onion, carrots, chicken, eggs, tuna, radish sprouts, avocado (MUFAs), mushrooms, cucumber, pepperoncini, and walnuts (omega-3s). I topped it off with EVOO (more MUFAs) and cajun seasoning. And after dinner, I sat down with a nice chilled glass of Willy's Brew: Seville Orange Sangria.

A very nice day, lazy on all accounts except the spirited round of racquetball. I finished a comic book, watched a little Arrested Development, did my laundry, and put off homework. It feels good, man. No complaints.

Grocery Haul: a veritable smorgas-dorm

That title has to be the worst pun I've ever attempted. Shame on me.

After that long ass post, I figured I'd post a few pictures of my latest trip to the grocery store. I've posted enough weird meats, now its time for med-res shots of vegetables and other goodies. This is my breakfast, snacks, and supplements for dinner. I don't think I'm quite hitting 9 cups, as suggested by Dr. Wahls, but I'm getting as close as I can given my budget and micro-refrigerator constraints.

Haul #1: organic celery, brussel sprouts, green peas, red cabbage, artichoke, plantain, golden beets, chopped spinach, flax seeds (ALA omega 3), bok choy, acorn squash, organic carrots, organic quinoa, and bee pollen.

Haul #2: organic red cabbage, organic zucchini, purple and green asparagus, organic mushrooms, organic broccoli, red radishes, organic cauliflower, organic collard greens, organic swiss chard.

Haul #3 (THE PROTEIN!): quick sale steak (not grassfed, but I'll cut off the fat because that's where the toxins accumulate in conventionally-raised meat), omega 3 eggs, greek yogurt. I don't know if you can cook steak in a microwave, but I'm going to find out. Again, in an ideal world, I would be cooking CLA-rich, grass-fed steak from a trusted butcher, on safe ironware. In due time, my friends.

#4 (All the "other" stuff): Green and white pomegranate tea, chocolate yerba mate, coconut oil, apple cider vinegar, raw honey (with comb!), red wine, kelp flakes, SRIRACHA, pomegranate/blueberry juice, Louisiana hot sauce, lemon juice, unsweetened chocolate, and Stevia. (Not pictured: my omega 3 supplement, which is a mix of fish, flax, coconut, and borage oils.)

And here's what I had for a little snack. bowl of steamed, chopped spinach, cooked acorn squash seeds, and Justin's maple almond butter. Not pictured: a few pieces of 87% dark chocolate.

Egg-Kale Dorm Breakfast

Real short post today. I've been ashamed of my lack of veggie intake, so I bought a bunch of kale and went to town. I can get salads for lunch and dinner, but I'm on my own for breakfast. Here's three different things I put together on the quick.

1. Simple microwave steamed kale with two eggs.

2. Kale wrap with hot sauce, egg, and garlic. (With a cup of chocolate Yerba Mate)

3. Microwave kale-egg frittata with garlic.

Sprouted Quinoa-tmeal

After I switched to a primal/paleo diet in June 2010, I was quickly drawn to the grey areas of pseudo-grains. These include amaranth, buckwheat, and quinoa. This last one was the closest I could find to my former favorite breakfast: hot oatmeal. I was also drawn to quinoa's impressive nutrient profile and long history as a "superfood." But after

discovering that the taste wasn't similar enough to oatmeal to bother, I gave up. Half a box of organic whole grain Ancient Harvest Quinoa (pronounced keen-wa) has been sitting in my fridge

ever since.

This past weekend, however, I came across a few articles on sprouting. Basically, soaking and sprouting grains and nuts can remove some of the "bad" nutrients and make it easier to digest. Sprouting is the practice of soaking seeds to reactivate the growing process. The biggest concerns over eating grains, seeds, and nuts (according to Mark Sisson and other paleo advocates) are phytic acid, enzyme inhibitors, lectins, gluten, and general nutrient profile. Soaking and sprouting can take care of some of these problems.

Phytic acid - Phytate stores phosphorous in plants, but can cause problems by binding to other nutrients that animals (humans) would otherwise like to ingest. Taking in too much phytic acid (by eating too much grain) can lead to deficiencies. According to this person , soaking and cooking can reduce the phytate in quinoa by 60-77%. So, problem one more or less taken care of. Considering I don't eat any grains, ever, my body should be able to handle 1/4 cup worth.

Enzyme inhibitors -These prevent seeds from sprouting and germinating spontaneously. In nature, this is obviously useful...you don't want seeds to start trying to reproduce before it is viable. The problem is that some of these inhibitors can cause problems for human digestion. As Mark Sisson says, you "can't afford not to wring every last drop of nutrition" out of your food. Soaking causes these inhibitors to break down and sprouting begins. Basically, the individual quinoa burst open and little tails come out. Its kind of neat haha.

Lectins - These protect grains from predators. Naturally, they can cause problems during digestion, mess with the intestinal and immune systems, and Sisson mentions some bad interactions with the hypothalamus. Lectins are found in a lot of foods, such as grains, legumes, dairy, and nightshades. I don't eat any of the first two, minimal dairy, and plenty of night shades. I don't stress out about it, but its comforting to know that soaking/sprouting may have some positive impact on lectin in certain grains.

Gluten - Gluten is a protein found in wheat

that Celiac patients can't break down, but non-Celiace people may have minor digestion issues. I'm not Celiac, and insce I don't eat grain, I don't really have to worry about gluten. Quinoa is naturally gluten free, but for people interested in sprouting, it does reduce gluten slightly in other grains.

General Nutrient Profile - This has nothing to do with sprouting, but rather the reason I don't eat grains but want to eat more quinoa. The most common form that humans consume grains in

is bread. Look at the ingredients on a regular bag of whole grain wheat bread (supposedly healthy): Enriched Bleach Flour [Wheat Flour, Malted Barley Flour, Niacin, Iron, Thiamin Mononitrate (Vitamin B1), Riboflavin (Vitamin B2), Folic Acid], Water, Whole Grain [Whole Wheat Flour, Brown Rice Flour (Rice Flour,

Rice Bran Including Germ)], Sugar, Wheat Gluten, Yeast, Cellulose, Contains 2% or Less of Each of Following: Calcium Sulfate, Soybean Oil, Salt, Dough Conditioners (May Contain One or More of the Following: Mono- and Diglycerides, Ethoxylated Mono- and Diglycerides, Sodium Stearoyl Lactylate, Calcium Peroxide, DATEM, Ascorbic Acid, Azodicarbonamide, Enzymes), Guar Gum, Calcium Propionate (Preservative), Distilled Vinegar, Butter (Cream, Salt), Yeast Nutrients (Monocalcium Phosphate, Calcium Sulfate, Ammonium Sulfate and/or Calcium Carbonate), Corn Starch, Natural Flavor, Vitamin D3, Soy Lecithin, Soy Flour.

So, you've got lots of soy, sugar, lots of unpronounceable additives and preservatives, and the bulk of the vitamins, that are extolled as the reason why whole grains are so vital to our diet, have been added in by the manufacturer. Lets look at quinoa: "organic whole grain quinoa." That's it. And let's look at the nutrition facts: for 1/4 cup, you have only 3g sugar (with 3g fiber), 6g protein (more on this in a minute), 23% RDA phosphorous, 12% iron, 50% riboflavin, 43% manganese, 22% tryptophan, 20% folate, and a good smattering of other vitamins. The protein in quinoa is impressive, especially for vegetarians/vegans, because it contains adequate amounts of all nine essential amino acids that are hard to find in a meat-less diet. Other complete protein sources are hempseed, chia, buckwheat, and amaranth.

So there you have it: quinoa is a nutritional powerhouse, and soaking and dry (8 rotations for 24 hours), and then cooking gets rid of what little "anti-nutrients" it has. I couldn't pass it up. And now, for the dramatic conclusion of this experiment: I poured a little milk in with the quinoa, sprinkled some cinnamon, and cooked in the microwave like oatmeal. I had a whey protein shake, and bowl of organic kale, celery, cabbage, and carrot. The verdict?

It tastes boring. Definitely too much work. The undressed veggies were more flavorful than the thing that it too me 24+ hours to prepare, plus all the reading and writing I did for this blog post.

I'll finish off the box over the next few weeks, but I won't be making quinoa a staple of my diet. It probably a cheaper alternative to buying a bunch of fresh, organic veggies and meats...but its too boring. I don't like using boring carbs (white potatoes, rice, pasta) as the base for interesting tastes. Waste of plate space, if you ask me.

Surviving in the Dorms

Hello everyone. I apologize for the slow posting over the past few days; I was busy with the start of winter quarter here at OSU. If I hadn't mentioned it before, I live in a residence hall and eat on the University meal plan. Without access to a kitchen I am pretty limited to what I can eat here. As one would expect from a college campus, it can be rather difficult to eat according to a primal or paleo diet, what with all the pizza and beer. I'll briefly explore how I manage.

the dining hall options here at OSU are split into three distinct categories: D-I-Y, vegetarian/vegan, and "I don't give a shit about what I'm putting in my body." This last category is by far the most widely available; you've got your cheeseburgers, nachos, pizza, burritos, fried things, etc. I would throw into that category everything that gets covered in a sauce or between bread: the "ethnic" food (usually processed meats dipped in HFCS sauce, thrown on top of white rice), paninis, sandwiches, etc. I avoid this stuff, unless I'm getting a salmon patty or chicken breast, no bun, with lots of veggie toppings.

The second option is for the "health conscious", which means "vegetarian" at college. Weak salads, tofu, lots of soy products. Again, there isn't really an inherent healthiness to these options beyond more veggies (to replace the meat.) Many veggie and vegan dishes can pack just as much sugar, trans fat, partially hydrogenated vegetable oils, MSG, and other nasty ingredients as "regular" dishes. I shit you not, there are a few dining halls that cater SPECIFICALLY to bread-based dishes. The 12th Avenue Bread Company serves, you guessed it, bread. Courtside Cafe/Juice 2 has lots of sugary smoothies ("made with real fruit!") to refuel after a workout, and there is no shortage of places to get your caffeine fix, as we have been tricked to believe we need (subject of another rant,..er, post.

And then we come to my safe haven, my love and joy, my salvation: the D-I-Y stations. The one that I most frequent is Across the Field, the salad bar at the Ohio Union. I eat here twice a day, and usually get the same thing. I thing that this option gives me the most nutritional bang for my severely ripped off buck. As you'll see below, my favorite salad consists of mixed greens (I think its spinach, purple cabbage, and dark lettuce), red onions, green peppers, green onions, carrots, chicken, eggs, tuna, avocado, mushroom, broccoli, cucumber, peperoncini, radish sprouts, cherry tomatoes, walnuts, and EVOO. Fortunately, they also offer a side of my favorite starch: baked sweet potato. This meal is, bar none, the most nutrition gathering of foods that I can procure on campus. Its delicious, and I know I'll get bored with it after a while, but it gets me a good amount of protein (I'd prefer some red meat or fatty fish, but chicken will do), healthy fats (monounsaturated fats in avocado and EVOO, plus Omega-3s in the walnuts), plenty of nutrients, and hardly any carbs, which I get from the potato.

The second best option on campus is Kennedy Commons, which features a number of "all you can eat" stations. I can usually snag some chicken, bacon (highly processed stuff, so not too much), plenty of eggs (liquid eggs, though), and a salad bar with about half of the options as Across the Field. I used to love going to Kennedy, but I found that I underestimated my intake

by loading up with lots of salad (low calorie, low carb), which justified plate after plate of "a little" bacon, eggs, or chicken. It became too easy to overeat. So I tend to stick with the Ohio Union, which is closer anyway, and I'm lazy after all.

Oh, and sometimes I enjoy a glass of wine with dinner. Good for the heart, don't ya know? [hiccup]

Squirrel, Bacon, and Sweet Potato Soup

I had a lot of football watching (and crying, :( Go Bucks!) and packing to do today, as my winter break came to a close. So I decided to put my the left over squirrel bones, which still had a bit of meat on them, to good use. In a small pot, I boiled all the little bony parts with half of an onion, thyme, and garlic. I strained the light broth, added more onion, two slices of bacon, and a (microwave softened) sweet potato, with just a little splash of milk. The squirrel broth didn't have a particularly powerful taste, but I could definitely pick up on the origin. It all went together to make a pleasant, light lunch.

No thought piece today, but I want to share this video. Dr. Terry Wahls designed a diet that helped her overcome multiple sclerosis. It calls for massive amounts of fresh, organic vegetables, healthy fats, and healthy protein. She drew inspiration from hunter-gatherer diets, and her presentations place a larger emphasis on organic, locavore ideals. Basically, her choice of foods utilizes nutrients to rebuild myelin and support the body's mitochondria. I'm going to do a bit more reading and post here later in the week.

Also coming down the pipeline: herbalism, exercise, my current health predicament, and the role of alcohol in a healthy lifestyle.

Bacon Belt for Sam Squirrel

Howdy ya'll.

New Years Day is my last full day at home before I return to beautiful Columbus. I was looking through my freezer and found the very last bit of weird food that I had to prepare from my three week winter break: two locally "grown" squirrels.* My cousin presumably shot (or trapped) these suckers and was kind enough to gift them to me when he heard about my little experiments. And it just so happens that I've been craving bacon lately. So today, I bring to

you, bacon wrapped squirrel.

When I unwrapped the freezer paper,I was immediately reminded of rabbit: long and lean (read as: little meat.) Fortunately, most of my family and friends are risk (and fun) averse and choose not to eat with me, so there was enough to make a proper meal.

I didn't have a lot of time to mess around the kitchen, so I figured a quick coating of spices and a few hours in the oven would be best. The smaller of the two wasn't fortunate enough to get a pork suit; instead, I bathed him in EVOO and dropped a light coat of chili spice mix that I had left over from the two previous batches of guisado de lengua and venison pot roast. I threw in a little extra garlic salt, and he was set.

The fatter of the two was dressed up real nice in a porcine tuxedo; I stuffed is chest with one piece of bacon, and wrapped three pieces around his torso, with a toothpick to close his hindquarters. I coated a pan with a light mix of EVOO and apple cider vinegar, set the oven for 300 F, and let em sit for a few hours.

The result was nothing short of delicious. My bacon craving was satiated, and the spices

performed well. The larger chunks of meat from the extremities reminded me of rabbit, which in turn reminds me of a stringier chicken. I let the dish dry out a bit too long in the oven, so the torso lost most of its flavor, but I couldn't help feeling like a frontiersman gnawing on a roasted rodent skin. It was a lot of work to get the meat separated, and I spent more time than I would have liked picking bones out of my teeth. But all in all, it was a nice little meal. The bacon fat made up for the dryness of the centerpiece, and a spoonful of warm peas finished the plate nicely.

* Every dish I prepare presents at least one new perspective or idea that I hadn't considered before, beyond the experience of preparing, and eating. Here in Ohio, squirrel and deer are about as close as one can get to really living off the land. I'm really not trying to force any hippy or Grok lifestyle here, because heaven knows I can't walk that walk, but hear me out. The state of food production today is dismal. The way we raise meat animals, by feeding them shit that makes them sick, pumping them with medicine and hormones, slaughtering them in these giant facilities that make the spread of disease that much easier, is unarguably unnatural. The practice is so far removed from the cattle culture of even 50 years ago, that one could be forgiven for forgetting that cows, sheep, and pigs were once wild creatures.

Squirrels, however, are different. They are wild. To my knowledge, there aren't squirrel farms. Sure, they aren't roaming the wild outdoors like I'm sure they used to; today, squirrels are restricted to whatever wooded areas we haven't paved over yet. Compared to image of hunter-gatherer drawn on the cave walls of woolly mammoths being felled by stone spear points, shooting a squirrel with a 22 rifle may seem like cheating. But in 2011, er, 2012, I think its just about as close as we can get to "local" meat here in suburbia.

I had already been pondering this aspect of localism when I came across this article. A woman in Seattle catches squirrels in her front yard and drowns them. Now that's primal.

The Economics of Eating A Lamb's Head

I can't think of a better bookend for this offal year. I've beat this dead horse enough (dead horse by the way, coming to your kitchen table soon thanks to H2112), but my pallet has grown tremendously over the past year. I don't know if eating fall-off constitutes "refinement", but I'll pretend it does. My lists of "weird shit I've eaten" and "weird shit I've cooked" have grown in lockstep, one-for-one. A lot of the dishes I've prepared have come from paleo/primal blogs, but a great number of them are my own creations. Moving forward, I would like to develop my general culinary skills beyond "put in crockpot, take out of crockpot, eat." Fortunately, my New Year's Eve meal required a bit more work than that.

A few weeks ago, I bought an entire frozen lamb head for $3.49 at Jungle Jim's near Cincinnati. Cheeks, tongue, brain, and eyeballs. I give the price here for two reasons, both overtly economic. The first is the cost to the consumer (me). I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I could and probably will live most of my adult life on offal. The organs are consistently among the cheapest cuts of any conventional meat I've come across. I imagine the disgust factor and historical stereotype of being lower class keeps the price of the throwaways low. Demand is high enough to

put it on the shelf, but not enough to drive up prices. Let's not kid ourselves here: if a cow's tongue was $8 a pound, guisado de lengua wouldn't be on my menu. When I'm a struggling grad student or entry level punk, a pot of onion-and-ham-bone soup ($5-7) is going to sound pretty

damn appetizing.

The second economic aspect of tree-fiddy lamb head that got my wannabee wonk brain working was the supply side of that price tag. Meat animals are not bred and slaughtered for their organs, excepting ducks and their fatty livers (I've never had foie gras, but its one of the more

mainstream offals.) We fatten up our pigs for their big fatty ribs, not their delicious hearts, and chickens for their plump breasts, not their, well, delicious hearts. So there isn't much cost going into "preparing" the raw offal cuts.

But I still don't understand how costs can be so low. The supply of these bits is inherently restricted: no matter how far we advance animal husbandry techniques, each lamb will only have one head. So, the producer has to not only pay an employee to separate this stuff from the carcass, presumably in a large dirty factory, in front of a hot, bloody conveyor belt emptying into cartoonish barrels labeled "heads", "hooves", etc.

Lets say a human being isn't actually doing the separating, that still requires that the company purchase a machine that has been specifically designed to separate the different parts of offal. Some engineer somewhere pays their bills by designing animal evisceration contraptions, adding yet another level of complexity to the economics of eating a lamb head.

Once the head is gathered, it has to be cleaned ($), frozen ($), packaged ($), labeled ($), shipped ($), and shelved ($). And somehow, all of that amounts to less than four bucks. What is the profit margin on a lamb head? Maybe I'm making too much out of this; they wouldn't being selling head if it wasn't a profitable venture. I imagine they make up for any potential losses with the

insane mark up of regular lamb meat ($15-25/lbs for quality cuts). Still, its pretty interesting t

o consider that I'm eating most of the sensory organs and the center of the nervous system of another planet sharing organism for less than the cost of a shitty deathcore album.

Anyway, on to the actual vittles. I found this recipe and decided to keep it simple. I don't like to be adventurous on my first time working with a certain dish, because I really like to explore the meat for its own worth. I started by grilled some white onions with EVOO, and tossed in a can of no-salt-added tomato sauce, a few sprigs of fresh thyme, clove of garlic, celery greens, and some peppercorns. After gently setting the head into the pot, I drowned her in a bottle of cheap-o Cabernet Sauvignon. Brought it to a boil, and set in the oven at 350 F (USA! USA!).

After three hours and two flips, she was ready to come out. I carefully lifted the now maroon head out of the pot and let the wine reduce while I got to work. The cheek meat was literally falling off the bone, and the jaw fell easily out of socket. The tongue required a bit of pulling, but the eyeballs slid effortlessly out. A hammer and towel shield made short work of the skull. I won't get into it much here, because I need more time to digest, but there is something primeval about smashing your way to brains. I know that conjures up the specters of Lizzy Borden andVarg Vickernes, but it really shouldn't.

The fact that smashing a lamb skull made me feel more like a murderer than a Homo sapien is a testament to how far removed we are from nature. We have delegated the hunting, gathering,

harvesting, and preparation of our food to farmers, butchers, and chefs. I didn't have to birth, name or earmark, slaughter, clean, or really process this piece of meat. And I still felt a little grossed out gingerly digging at the plate sutures with a knife.

I digress...I strained out the chunks and bone fragments from the reduced broth (saving the

larger bone fragments for a broth down the road). I then returned the meat to the liquid, adding in some chopped carrots, celery, onions, and tomatoes. An hour later, and it was ready to pour. Next time, I won't use an entire bottle of wine because it definitely over powered the delicate lamb meat. I've read that lamb in general is a vehicle to express other flavors, and I didn't incorporate that logic into this dish. The meat itself is pretty greasy, which I remember being true with the only other lamb dish I've had (a fantastic tenderloin at The Happy Greek in Columbus.) I had had pork brain once before, and found it pretty bland, so I was unpleasantly surprised to find the lamb counterpart to be very salty. For some reason it reminded me of crawfish, which isn't itself unappealing, but was definitely unexpected.

The eyeball had a consistency akin to the gelatinous/collagen of pig trotters. Pork collagen,

however, doesn't taste good. The lamb eyeball served its vehicle purpose well, lacking any real distinguishable taste. I think the tough membranes of the eye kept out the wine, so a dab of Louisiana hot sauce did the trick. ;)

All in all, I enjoyed this dish. I always like fatty broths, and the gross out factor and fun of preparation really made this recipe a treat. The red wine was a bit too strong for the delicate meat, but I guess that's the take away from this experience. I'm definitely going to try lamb head again, and for $3.50, there's no good reason not to.

2011: What an Offal Year

This past year has seen my culinary horizons broadened beyond my wildest imagination. If you had asked me on December 31, 2010 what I would be eating a year from now, I doubt lamb brains, eye balls, and tongue would be anywhere on the list. But, here I am. "Converting" to the paleo/primal diet in June allowed me (read as: forced me) to explore new foods; the prohibition of all grains, bread products, and processed foods, coupled with the emphasis on animal products, led me to try things I had never even heard of. A balut egg? Cow heart? Chicken gizzards? "That's nasty!"

But beyond my initial repulsion, which I'm sure many of you still feel when you look at this blog, I have grown to appreciate many aspects of offal and "weird foods" in general. The first is that I enjoy doing something a little different, doing something that separates me, if in a very gross way, from other people. I view this as a challenge (rebellion isn't the right word) against conventional views of diet. In my intro to Anthropology class, I learned about the variety of different diets that human beings have survived on over the past 10,000 years (and earlier). When I was confronted with the reality that there is an illusion of food choice in this country, that despite the ever increasing number of "food products" being put on our shelves, American eaters consume were eating a very narrow (and nutritionally limited) range of foods. I wanted to challenge that. I wasn't content with switching from fried chicken to grilled chicken breast. Screw the breast; I want the goddamn hearts and feet!

I don't claim to be an expert on the science, and really, I don't care all that much, but I am impressed with what I've read about the nutritional value of offal. The organs and odd bits of the animal that most people throw out are often full of different micronutrients than those found in the more conventional cuts. Nature and evolution (as well as selective breeding on our part) has provided us with these beautifully complex creatures, full of nutrients and delicious body parts; it seems insane to throw any of it away. And for my vegetarian friends, I'm sure you can appreciate this aspect of my experiments, even if you don't like the actual meat eating itself. If we're going to slit a billion chicken necks, we might as well get every little bit of use out of it as we can, right? "Use every part of the buffalo", as they say.

I'm pretty much rambling at this point, because I hadn't planned on being reflective. But I've decided to retool this blog. My writing skills have really deteriorated due to lack of stimulation, and I'm trying to get back into the swing of things. When I return to school this week, I won't have access to stores or kitchens, so this blog will transform into a place for me to put my thoughts down. I'm still a bit too angry to write about politics (my other love), but I think food will serve as a worthy substitute. I don't know anyone else IRL that follows paleo/primal, and it can get rather lonesome reading about this shit by myself. I think providing a forum to process what I've read will be a good thing. My New Years resolution was to be more confident, relax, and enjoy life: and this blog is the first step.